Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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