Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
