That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
