This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
