For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
