it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
