If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i think i just lost a toe
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
