Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
