im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
