He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
