Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
