it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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