I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
