Your dad touched me again.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
