I wish I could teleport
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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