I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
