They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
