I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I AM VODKA MAN
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
