dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
