I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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