I'm going to jail i love you
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
