Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
