Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
