I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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