3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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