If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
