before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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