i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
