So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
