so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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