Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
