So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
