In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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