Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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