What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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