I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
