Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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