so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
