Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
