Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
