so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
