we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dick very happy bro
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
