So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
