i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I want to be your penis for a week.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
