i jhust puked up my retainher.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize