So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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