I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize