butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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