Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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