Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
