just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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