My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
