Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
