jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize