trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
