a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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