I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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