You're earring is so big in my mouth
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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