This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
