i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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