Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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