Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
