I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
porn star boner night. come get it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
