allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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