what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
