All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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